Friday, January 16, 2009

Bloodsport



Just when you think you have nothing to write about, manna falls from the heavens.

When I got home from work today, I found my house covered with little brown feathers. Initially, I suspected my son's down jacket. But then I found feathers in the kitchen sink, in the bathtub, even in the toilet... As I dustbusted, unquestioningly, I caught my youngest son out of the corner of my eye joyously stomping up and down, giggling madly, on a tiny brown object (see above).

This raises many questions. Obviously, my cats had found a sparrow but they are indoor cats. Unless one of Bev's cats made a take-out delivery, this poor little guy somehow found his way in my house (I'd like to think the holes aren't quite so gaping), seeking relief from the bitter cold, and found himself in the clutches of two very inexperienced house cats. Judging from the evidence, his must have been a most brutal demise. I found bird shit on the walls and doors, a lamp was knocked over, one entire table in my kitchen was cleared off and my mantle was destroyed (thankfully shattering one particularly horrible Christmas gift from my mother-in-law). Avian carnage.

While I feel bad for the poor little bugger, a part of me wishes I had been here to see the mayhem. I keep forgetting my cats are animals.

6 comments:

brianhone said...

Alright I confess. I saw my three cats Spike, Johnnie, and Coco heading over to your house with a six pack and a couple of pizzas. But to be fair there was a message from your cats on the machine saying " the parties on, you won't believe the snack we found!" Sorry things got outta hand.

Beverly Hamilton Wenham said...

Sorry, that was my post. Didn't know I was signed in as Brian or I would have written something mysterious.

Ana said...

Damn those three! I always knew they were bad seeds. At least that explains the smashed bottle of Budweiser I found in the fireplace.

Stop posting under the guise of infants! As if I couldn't get mad at a baby...

Brandon G. said...

This happened to me once. We got home and found blood splattered all over the walls of my bedroom, and I do mean ALL OVER. It took a good week to clean all of it off. (This was back when I lived with my dad, and his cat was a complete bad-ass compared to mine.)

Reminds me of this picture:

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/funny-pictures-cat-calls-dibbs-on-the-squirrel.jpg

Ana said...

Brandon -- "DIBS!" Too funny! Wouldn't you rather be a bad-ass cat than a lolcat anyday?

Bev -- Do you think Johnnie was being so snarky last night because of something that happened here? What a hair across his ass! His bad ass, that is.

Eva said...

They may be inexperienced but they got the bird in the end! My cat used to meow after my mother so that she would pull the curtains open so that he could have a go at a fly that was flying all over the window... The fly was safer inside the house than outside as my cat never managed to do anything productive and cat-like...