Monday, January 5, 2009

Cookie Delivery

Bev has assured me it is okay to post this story from our neighborhood. I'm so paranoid, however, that I'm not even going to use the fake names I already created for my characters. I'm going to use the names of trees instead.

Okay, so Elm and Apple are a couple who live on my street. They are in their 50's, a little eccentric but very nice and always stop to talk or at least wave as you drive by. Every year until about four years ago or so, Apple would deliver Christmas cookies to all the people on the street on Christmas Eve afternoon. Her cookies and fudge were scrumptious. Five years ago, the following happened.

Enter Maple and Birch, a couple who lives very close to Apple and Elm. It was Christmas Eve afternoon and Birch was out grocery shopping for a party she and Maple were going to. Maple was taking a shower. When he got out of the shower (and vigorously toweled off his dripping wet rippling muscles and blond hair, which I'm sure every woman on the street has imagined at one time or another), he got dressed and went to the kitchen. There, on the counter, sat a plate of cellophaned Christmas cookies from Elm and Apple which had decidedly not been there when he entered the shower. While pondering this anomaly, Maple jumped when the phone rang right beside him. He didn't recognize the Vermont phone number on the caller ID but picked it up anyway. On the other end of the line was an enraged man: "Did you just call my house and hang up?" "No," replied Maple. "Well, I just redialed the last number that called my house and here I am talking to you." "Listen," said Maple, "I just got out of the shower. I don't know who you are or how you got this number, but I did NOT call your house." The man refused to believe Maple and accused him of having an affair with his wife. Maple hung up on the man, still scratching his head.

Although this mystery has never been solved, it seems pretty obvious that Elm made the cookie delivery to Maple and Birch, let himself in the house when nobody answered the door, and helped himself to a long-distance phone call when he heard the shower running.

That's just creepy.


Beverly Hamilton Wenham said...

I don't care what you say. Just because you bring cookies doesn't mean you can help yourself to household appliances in order to carry out nefarious
acts during the holiday. Somethings just aren't OK. He should have brought at least a cake and maybe a Christmas goose to get away with that kinda shit

Rerun said...

Where were Pine and Sycamore when I this all went down? I've never trusted either one of them;)

When I was going up, we all walked into our neighbor's houses which sounds very strange now. The long but the long distance call to his mistress in Vermont was way out of line. It's so bad that a gift of goose could get you out it.

Eva said...

Like everyone, I agree that making that phone call was just a really bad idea (as well as ridiculous). I think I'm more creeped out by the fact that the neighbour came into the house while the owner was in the shower... I would definitely freak out if I came downstairs and someone was in the house, cookies or no cookies... I'd probably turn into an avenging ghost just like in Bev's story (better yet, the avenging ghost of a samurai!)